New energy. No commitments. Awoke early with new clarity. Today is the last day of our old ways, tomorrow a new agenda begins. Light. Cleanliness.
On Monday I made a stew and became so ill I had an out of body experience. Dehydration, green liquid, a rancid smell of decay, sweating, shivering, muscle spasms, floating. It felt terrifying, but ended very succinctly, cleanly, definitely, and left me empty of toxins, full of energy.
Today is a day of loose ends being cleared up, last chances, closing of chapters. Work is settled for the moment, a social meeting felt like a parting of the ways. No more socialising allowed now. It feels like Christmas eve, just cooking, walking, cycling now. I had an idea of making ten or so seconds of video every day, putting them together into one, between now and the end. I don’t think I will though, I can’t think about the logistics of more film works.
At St Pancras, people are in party mode, demob happy, last chance. I want to think about psychogeography more now. I’ll get out on the bike with cameras this time around. There’s an often talked about myth of deserted city streets. They weren’t really like that at the beginning. I think people walked about in slightly curious, slightly bewildered states out of habit, loss, grief, wanting something to do, but it was never the ghost town that it was claimed to be. Different, but people are around. I don’t know how I feel now about the idea of returning to crowded streets, or indeed to work in London. I will return, of course. I’ll have to.
At Gatwick airport there’s a missing panel on the building alongside the track, and a pigeon inside, rotating on the spot, perhaps quite mad. The airport looks semi-abandoned.